When you see this symbol, what do you relate it to?  For many humans, this symbol is considered sacred and is associated with the physical organ of the heart, the emotional state of being of love, acts of compassion, and passion, and love relationships.

However, if you actually superimpose the above symbol over an image of the actual heart organ, they don't really jive.  In fact, I often thought it was a little strange that the sacred symbol above would be associated with the heart organ because they don't really physically resemble each other, unless you stretch your imagination.  In fact, Who Says they should?

The other day I was reviewing Suzi Hately Aldous’ text on sacro-iliac joints, and more specifically, an image of the pelvis.  As I gazed at that image, it hit me and I was astounded…if you superimpose an image of the sacred symbol of the heart over an image of the physical pelvis, they align almost perfectly!  What the what?!  Suzi writes: “Sacrum is derived from the word sacred.  It is short for the medieval Latin os sacrum (‘holy bone’)…”   

The source of life, the channel through which all souls arrive onto this planet, the womb itself, they are all sacred vessels and it is this most horribly maligned part of our anatomy that was and remains the ‘sacred heart of all being’.  Instead of being something that we should deny or exploit, this so very sacred part of us has always deserved to be honoured.  Instead of sacro-iliac joints, perhaps they should be referred to as sacred-iliac joints… (thank you Frances!) the joining points between the pelvis and the spine that connect this sacred part of us to every other part of us…including, of course, the heart.    

In a world where we are told to “Just Do It” and where success is measured by how far we can go, how fast we can move, how big we can create and how much we can do, we humans are challenged when it comes to recognizing our own suffering and the suffering of others.  Without this personal and then transpersonal acknowledgement, we lack the empathy required to connect with the deepest parts of ourselves, with others and all living things, including our wonderful planet.

Joanna Macy, Buddhist practitioner, author and eco-activist speaks of embracing suffering (ourselves and others) from a place of compassion in Despair and Personal Power in the Nuclear Age.  She wisely states that "feeling our own despair and fear [is] the key to loving, to hoping, and to acting.  But this ability runs against the dominant [global] preoccupation with  success in which all pain is viewed as dysfunctional."

I would extend this philosophy to many New Age dictums about how we should perceive our lives and describe our experiences, shying away from expressions of anger, grief, ennui and only allowing ourselves to feel and express joy, love and passion.  Although these are, without a doubt, powerful experiences of being, denying the totality of our human experience prevents us from fully acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the impact of our thoughts, words and deeds on everyone and everything that co-exists in the web of life.

In reflecting on her experience of her culture, Joanna continues.  “We lack the mirrors that tell us the truth about our lives [in the shadow of a] sanguine confidence in the future that is the hallmark of the American character and a source of national pride.”  If we dare to “[admit] that we know fear and pain, [it] can appear to be a failure of maintaining stamina and even competence” and more frighteningly in the global psyche, an admission of vulnerability which is perceived as a weakness that deserves to be preyed upon.

The many years that I spent denying the truth of what I was feeling did me more harm than good.  And without awareness of my actual experience, I could not recognize what the people and world around me was trying to mirror to me.  I could not, like the mythical undead, see myself in the mirror…and so a life of passionate fulfillment was not available to me…nor was authentic connection with other living things.

The refusal to acknowledge pain and suffering as our own and as impacting all other living things is akin to refusing to look at the little man behind the curtain or to being able to see that the emperor truly has no clothes.  This lack of vision and awareness then allows suffering to continue in the world as we distract ourselves with technology and with doing more and having more.

It takes almost super-human courage (at least it felt that way to me at first) to be willing to acknowledge our own suffering because at the moment we agree to do so, we open Pandora’s box and we begin to actually feel our pain.  What most people forget is that at the bottom of the box was Hope…and without Hope, we risk being trapped in the hamster wheel of fear and despair.  When we allow Hope to co-exist with our pain, we give ourselves the energy (even if it’s only the size of a ‘mustard seed’) and willingness to move through our suffering and onto self-actualization.

I close with another quote from Rita Nakashima Brock in her article “On Mirrors, Mists, and Murmurs” from the anthology Weaving the Visions: New Patterns in Feminist Spirituality by Judith Plaskow and Carol P. Christ.

“To allow ourselves to suffer means risking feeling stupid, guilty, unpatriotic, doubtful, powerless, panicky, too emotional, or a failure.  We can be accused of provoking disaster or causing others distress, but to deny our own suffering and the suffering of others leads us, according to Macy, to live an alienated double life haunted by self-doubt, to hedonistic or compulsive displacement activity, to passivity, to the psychological projection of our pain, to destructive behaviours, to burnout, to intellectual apathy and to the ability to receive painful information…often immobilized by the fear of moving through that pain.  But to be healed [and to support others in their healing] we must be willing to suffer.”

My biggest fear when I began to travel down this path of awareness and ultimate integration was that my suffering would become my primary default setting and that I would never enjoy life again.  Ironically, I wasn’t really enjoying life and embracing my capacity for and experience of suffering brought incredible colour and depth to my life, making it more real than it had been since I was a little child.  In fact children are the greatest teachers in this regard...they can move through suffering to joy within minutes and continue to live a life that is not weighed down by 'shoulds' or 

Perhaps the vibrant colours of the fall have inspired me to reflect on this journey and to share these thoughts with any who happen upon them.  Be that as it may, my prayer for me, for you and all living things is that we may become empowered to stand up for ourselves and each other as fully actualized beings and co-create a world in which, through partnership and mutual fulfillment, we can live lives that are fully and completely whole.

Blessed Be. 

Often, when my husband looks at me and says “You are beautiful”, my inner critic immediately places conditions on that observation by telling me that he is seeing me through the filter of his love for me.  Rarely do I feel validated because my deepest fear, cultivated by years of being exposed to cultural messages and familial fractures that tell me otherwise, is that I am not beautiful, physically or otherwise. 

I am nearing 50 years on this planet and it hasn’t been until the last couple of years that I have had the courage to ask myself in these situations “Who says?”  What gives any group that is in a position of power in a culture or society the right to define or create truths that must be internalized and accepted by everyone?  Whether it is a matter of spirituality, physical beauty or intellect, each individual has the right to determine what is true for them…and the right to declare truths that are life-affirming and self-loving.

Self-loving does not, and never did, mean believing that one person is better than another.  Self-loving thoughts, words and actions are those that express a deep acceptance of the entirety of who one is and a belief that one is a valuable human being, deserving of unconditional love.

Unconditional love allows us to be who we are; however, it does not condone thoughts, words or deeds that are harmful to others.  I.E., unconditional love acknowledges that each and every one of us has the right to be self-determining individuals and, by being so, that we also accept responsibility for our innate power and the things we think, speak and do…and making choices that are not harmful to ourselves or others.

This doesn’t mean that our choices will always be well received by others.  Sometimes what is right for one person is not right for another.  This delicate balance can be honoured if each of us understands that living a life that is true to us does not automatically give us the right to assume it is right for another nor to impose our truths on others.  This also doesn’t mean that what is true for us is not shared by others…this is how families, tribes, communities and cultures are created and can co-exist…when they have shared values and ethics.

And lastly (at least for the moment), although each individual, community, and culture has the right to live their truths, when their truths are harmful to others, then each and every one of us has the right to expose those harming beliefs, words and deeds for what they are - purposeful means of controlling or manipulating a vulnerable individual or group of individuals so that the dominant group can maintain its position of power.

On Feb 14th, women and men are being called to action in a global happening called “One Billion Rising”.  Through the expressive and compelling act of dancing and authentic and heart-felt movement, all of us are being given an opportunity to ask “Who says that violence against any vulnerable being is okay?”  We’re being called to express that violence against any vulnerable being (women, children, animals, the planet) is not only NOT OKAY but that it will NO LONGER BE TOLERATED.   We are being called to take a stand, rise up, and speak our truth. 

In a world that for thousands of years has socialized us to believe that violence is ‘normal’ and that it is the default setting for humans, this will be received in a variety of ways:  agreement, denial, or resistance.  We are being called to point to the elephant in the room or reveal the man behind the curtain and say NO MORE.  Let us join our voices, our bodies, our souls to create a reality and a world where all beings have the right to be safe, respected and unconditionally loved…where violence against vulnerable beings is an aberration and not the culturally, socialized norm.   

You can locate a One Billion Rising event in your locale by visiting the following website:  www.onebillionrising.org and dance like you’ve never danced before!

MY BODY IS MY CHURCH. If that sounds blasphemous to you, then please set your curiosity level to maximum and read on. 

For the last 400 years, Western culture has developed the prevailing belief of “mind over matter”, “reason over intuition”, “intellect over wisdom”. Even many Eastern spiritual teachings tell us that the body is 2nd to spirit and that our time on earth should be spent trying to transcend the body to return to spirit. In fact, in classical Yoga, we are often told that ‘we are not our body nor our thoughts nor our emotions’. My personal belief is that we are spiritual energy and that our bodies are a physical manifestation of that energy…much like ice is a denser version of water and air. In fact, I believe that everything in our worldly experience is an expression of spirit. And so, if this is true, then why would I try to deny the beauty, power and wisdom of my body and its corresponding emotions, if they are indeed expressions of spirit? 

The word Yoga derives from the Sanskrit root ‘yuj’ which means to ‘yoke’ or ‘join’ or ‘connect’. And so the fundamental principle of yoga is to connect and bring harmony to the disparate parts of ourselves – and in the Western cultural model, our bodies, emotions and parts of our psyche. When we deny any aspect of any three of these, we limit ourselves from becoming integrated and whole human and divine beings. I suspect that Yoga grew out of the authentic experiences of spiritual seekers, teachers and shamans as they explored different ways to know their human and divine selves better. But, over time, the practice of Yoga, and this is especially true in North America, has become a callisthenic endeavour with the goal of fixing what we perceive to be broken. Now don’t get me wrong – a Yoga practice involves moving the body and sometimes it is physically challenging and vigorous. However, it is also much more than that. It is not simply about showing “how far we can reach, or even reaching as far as we can, but rather about ‘paying attention’ to” what is happening in the moment, (Donna Farhi). 

When we practice Yoga with awareness, moving and experiencing our body mindfully, we can reconnect with our body, emotions and mind (the wholeness of who we are) in loving ways. We can invite and allow transformation rather than forcing ourselves to be something other than what we are. When I teach and practice yoga, as students explore various poses and different ways to move their bodies, I invite them to observe what they are feeling: physically and emotionally and to pay attention to the thoughts that accompany those physical and emotional experiences. Sometimes, this brings up emotions that we may have been repressing for years. The beauty of emotions, ALL OF THEM, is that they can tell us how close we are to living our heart’s desires, or not. In this way, you might imagine your physical body and felt emotions as being your “inner barometer” or your spiritual GPS. When we suppress emotions because they are painful to feel, or we are ashamed to be feeling them, we abort the process of transformation and end up with an overabundance of energy locked down in the body where we can’t make use of it. This is true of any type of emotion that is left unfelt and unexpressed. 

The word ‘emotion’ derives from the Latin word ‘emovere’ which means ‘to move’. And so ‘emotion’ means ‘energy in motion’. Emotional energy is creative energy and it is meant to move…when we don’t allow ourselves to feel our emotions, and we typically resist feeling the uncomfortable ones, we cut ourselves off from the flow of creative energy. We also bury our emotions alive where they can, if repressed long enough, wreck havoc on our physical, emotional and mental well-being. When we acknowledge, feel and appropriately express our emotions in the moment in which we are feeling them, we allow that energy to flow and transform. Some might say that letting ourselves feel grief or anger limits us from living abundantly; I invite you to consider that “we are not held back from feeling our emotions but, rather, we are held back [from experiencing an authentic life] by the degree to which we choose to remain unconscious of our emotions. Living our lives fully can only happen when we allow ourselves to feel deeply.” (Unknown)

Allowing ourselves to feel the full range of our emotional spectrum doesn’t mean we give ourselves permission to ‘act out’ or ‘project’. Indulging takes us out of the present moment, as we lose ourselves in our thoughts about the emotions we’re feeling and, like a hamster on a wheel, keep going round and round the emotional race track. Projection and acting out happen, not because we are allowing ourselves to authentically feel emotions in the present moment but because, conversely, we suppress or deny emotional energy that simply will not be suppressed or denied. You can be sure that whenever you are emotionally triggered by another person’s words or actions, there is an emotional history within you that is begging to be witnessed and transformed. If you make your emotional response to a situation about someone else, you lose the opportunity to transform that emotional history. This doesn’t mean absolving other people for their own behavior, especially if their behavior is harmful to others. But it does mean getting real about how you feel in any given situation, and allowing yourself to really feel those emotions, expressing them in a way that is not harmful to yourself or another, being open to receiving the gifts hidden underneath the painful layers and taking the steps towards transformation, if that is in your highest good. This kind of journey is not for the feint of heart. 

You might say that Yoga is more about cultivating inner strength or fortitude that supports us during challenging times…and we do so through the practice of poses (or asanas), mindful breathing practices and meditation. When we come to our Yoga mat and practice with awareness, we are given the opportunity to greet our whole selves – perhaps for the first time in a very long time. Whether you’re practicing yoga or simply living your life, set the intention to meet and befriend all the parts of yourself. Perhaps this meeting will take place at your ‘edge’. You can think of the ‘edge’ in Yoga as “the threshold of your comfort zone” or “the boundary of your resistance”. This is something we experience both on the mat and throughout our daily lives. Your edge might be physical, emotional or mental. If you don’t get close enough to your edge, you’ll likely miss the beautiful view and you might be left wondering what all the excitement is about; you might end up in a rut, doing and experiencing the same old things over and over again. If you go too far past your edge, you might fall off into the land of injury. Transformation is powerful and not something to be forced upon yourself or another. 

As you explore a yoga practice, either in the privacy of your home or in a class setting, I encourage you to “participate with your body” rather than strong-arming it to do what your mind thinks it should. Remember, it’s not about trying to show what you can do; rather, focus on self-discovery. Imagine you’re going on a scavenger hunt and that you are the buried treasure. And then take the experience of doing so off your mat and out into your life…and be prepared for miracles.

The other day I received an eZine from my friend Rebecca Liston.  If you don’t know her, you need to get to know her…you can check her out at www.rebeccaliston.com

So, anyhow, her eZine was titled “I’m Sick of This”…of course that caught my attention.  The irritant was the countless ways our culture bombards women (and men..and young women and young men) with messages about how embarrassed we should be when we bleed during our monthly menses cycles.  And, how we, as women (and men and young women and young men) have agreed to believe in these messages as ‘truth’ and live our lives constantly trying to deny or hide that we menstruate.

A few years ago, I became passionate about researching the many ways that our cultural messages (primarily handed down to us through the media in our advertising and entertainment) narrowly define what it means to be female and how our culture through these mediums dictates how we should look, dress, and behave.  And quite frankly, I’m sick of it too.  It’s time someone pointed to the incredibly large elephant that has been squatting in the middle of our lives and call it what it is…a big, fat lie!

Some say “We’ve come a long way baby” when we speak about Women’s Rights.  Really?  Let’s take a look shall we? 

Before the Patriarchal System bulldozed its way into our lives and changed the way humans perceived and respected the world around us, the general consensus was that the Divine was primarily made of feminine energy and was defined as the Goddess.  Many saw the earth as the ultimate Mother God{dess} who created all living things, women and men alike.  Humans observed how all forms of nature were manifested through the good Mother Earth and believed that Woman was the physical manifestation of this Divine energy because all humans were born of Her. 

A woman’s menstrual cycle was considered sacred.  Her capacity to bleed and yet continue to live was seen nothing short of miraculous.  And her ability to birth humans was a mystery only understood by Women.  The power of creation was Hers and Women accepted it responsibly, recognizing that this power was not ‘power over’ but the responsibility for nurturing all vulnerable creatures and teaching them how to ultimately take care of themselves and each other.

Ancient people believed that the fetus was fully and soley formed from the mother's womb blood.  This was, of course, before we learned about the male contribution to creating life…which is an integral contribution…but not a good enough reason to turn the tables completely around and brain-wash people into believing that all life comes from a male God who created one divine son by raping a woman…and then legitimizing it by calling it a ‘virgin birth’.  Sounds a lot like the tales of Zeus, yes?  Well, there’s nothing new in the Christian creation myth…but I digress…and will save that for another time.

Medieval peasants believed that menstrual blood had the power to heal, nourish and fertilize and that a menstruating women could protect a crop by walking around a field or exposing her genitals to it.  Okay, although that might be a lot of fun, and even a bit naughty, I don’t think exposure of your Yoni is enough to guarantee a bumper crop!  BUT, who knows…if you decide to try this, let me know how it worked out for you!  What I do know is that when you spread menstrual blood onto the soil of any house plant, it provides incredible nourishment to the soil and that plant thrives like you could never imagine!

The sacredness and naturalness of a woman’s cycle was so deeply engrained in the psyches of our ancestors that they created a Lunar Calendar as the globally accepted way to mark the passing of time.  Sacred rites surrounding the time of menses were a regular community occurrence – these rites not only taught younger women about what to expect when they reached the age of puberty but also reinforced the belief that their cycles and their capacity to create life were of divine origin.

When patriarchal societies dismantled, through brute force, matrilinear societies that embodied peaceful partnership, these sacred rituals and the beliefs they perpetrated and supported were replaced by ideas of hierarchy, where women, children and nature were demoted to the bottom of the scale of importance.  Anything natural and connected to women was deemed dirty and base – “a projection of partriarchal fear of the power of women's blood.  For example, the Laws of Manu stated that if a man approached a menstruating woman, he would lose his wisdom, energy, sight, strength and vitality”. (See “The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets” by Barbara Walker)

The Talmud states that if a menstruating woman walks between two men, one of the men will surely die.  Wow, you’d think we’d notice if men were dropping left, right and centre world-wide as they most assuredly would if this were true…since  52% of the world’s population is female and I would assume a large portion of that percentage is of menstruating age.

The current day Catholic church still claims that women cannot be priests as a menstruating priestess would pollute the altar.  And yet, in the Catholic service, the holy blood of life, which used to be feminine and real is now masculine and symbolic. (Ibid, Barbara Walker)  You should have heard the lame excuses I was given by our Catholic priest when, as a 12-year old girl, I asked if I could volunteer as an ‘altar person’…I never understood…well, now I understand…we couldn’t risk polluting that altar space with my natural presence.

Karen Houppert, author of “The Curse: Confronting The Last Unmentionable Taboo – Menstruation”, refers to our societal aversion to one of the most natural processes on the planet as a ‘culture of concealment’.  She tell us that “young girls are given the message very early in life that “I-bleed-therefore-I’m-yucky”.  Is it any wonder when this very natural and sacred process is referred to in a number of demeaning ways?  Perhaps you remember hearing some of these gems while you were growing up:

The Curse, The Nuisance, The Plague, The Flowers, Poorly Time, Monthly Evacuations, The Visitations, Being Unwell (1800's), Monthly Turns, Monthly Return, Monthly Troubles, That Time of the Month, Wrong Time of the Month, Monthlies, Calendar Days, Problem Days, Poorlies, Period, The Moon, Those Days, Old Faithful, Sick Time, Indisposed, The Misery, Les Regles, PMS, Cramps, Under the Weather, Weeping Womb, Package of Troubles, Jam and Bread, On the Rag, Too Wet to Plow, A Snatch Box Decorated with Red Roses (WW2); Can't Go Swimming, Tide's In, Tide's Out, Flying Baker (Navy signal meaning 'Keep Off'); Riding the Red Tide, The Red Flag is Up, Red Light, Red Letter Day, My Redheaded Friend, Cherry in Sherry, The Red King, Traveling the Red Road, The Red Tea's Out, The Reds are In, Are You Seeing Red?, Bloody Mary, The Chick is a Communist (1040's Jive-Talk); White Cylinder Week, Mother Nature's Gift, Woman's Friend, It's Raining Down South, I Fell off The Roof, I've Got My Flowers, I've Got the Grannies, Lady in the Red Dress, Grandma's Here, Somebody's Visiting, Tante Rosa Kommt Aus Amerika (Aunt Rosa is coming from America - German), My Redheaded Aunt From Red Bank, And Red From Potsdam's Here, Communists in the Summer House - Norwegian, Aunt Susie, Aunt Flo Is Visiting, Aunt Tilly is Here.  (“Ibid”, Karen Houppert)

In speaking about the feminine products industry, Houppert explains that “marketing in this industry plays on women’s insecurities and shame surrounding menses.  Advertisements maximize these fears and secrecy permeates every level of the industry.”  She tells of a number of attempts over hundreds (in fact thousands) of years to brainwash women and men about the ‘curse’ and the need to deny it even exists.  Check these out (all of the bulleted points below are borrowed from “The Curse: Confronting The Last Unmentionable Taboo – Menstruation” ):

·         In 1878…the British Medical Journal published a discussion about whether menstruating women spoiled meat when they touched it.

·         In 1883, Henry Maudsley, writing in…’Sex in Mind and Education’…observed that girls were doomed to failure in college because of menstruation.

·         A 1949 Good Housekeeping advertisement states "You won't know you're wearing [a tampon] - and neither does anyone else." 

·         The ‘educational’ film Molly Grows Up, produced in 1953 and distributed to American schools nationwide, advises young girls to be “more careful than ever about personal cleanliness and daintiness”.  It further advises them to “be sure and use a deodorant”.

·         In 1963, inside a tampon box:  "Don't take advantage of your husband.  That's an old rule of good marriage behaviour that's just as sensible now as it ever was.  Of course, you'll not try to take advantage, but sometimes ways of taking advantage aren't obvious.  You wouldn't connect it with menstruation, for instance.  Yet, if you neglect the simple rules that make menstruation a normal time of the month, and retire for a few days each month, as though you were ill, you're taking advantage of your husband's good nature.  He married a full-time wife, not a part-time one.  So you should be active, peppy, and cheerful every day."

·         Tampon advertising tells girls that if they wear a pad, they’ll be 'noticed'.  The corresponding pictures of girls flirting with boys suggests that if boys know you are having your period, you won’t get a date.

·         In 1995, Karen Houppert wrote an article for The Village Voice, based on her research into the marketing and media of menses.  The cover page photo was a profile of a woman's body, not unlike any other picture you would see in a thousand other glamour magazines; however, this one included a tampon string between the legs.  This picture created a terrific stir and offended many.  How is this more offensive than pictures of victims of war and brutality that are displayed on the front pages of more magazines than we can count and that are presented to us on the nightly news?

Dr. Christiane Northrop tells us that “in Native cultures around the world, young women were honoured with 'coming-of-age' ceremonies where 1st menstruation meant being initiated into the offices of womanhood.” (“Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”)  How did such a paradigm shift take place? 

Perhaps more importantly is the question ‘why’?  Quite frankly, because the best way to control someone is to make them feel fear and shame…period (pun intended).  So why would anyone want to control women?  Because women, when they are supported by other wise and compassionate women and men, have the capacity to empathize and nurture and would NEVER allow the atrocities of war, genocide and global poverty to take place…all of which are means of acquiring and protecting wealth by the few for the few.

Sound like an extreme statement?  Perhaps…but aren’t war, genocide and global poverty extreme situations?  So really, let’s call it what it is, turn away from the lies that surround us, move within for guidance and support each other (rather than fight against each other) in creating a world that honours compassion, partnership and health and well-being for ALL THAT IS…not just the small few who can afford it…at the expense of everyone else. 

Does this sound like too big a task?  Perhaps, especially if you see it as something you have to do alone…but you don’t.  It starts with surrounding yourself with other people who share the same desire for a better world.  And for women, it’s primarily about surrounding yourself with wise and empowered women who are no longer interested in the stupidity of the distractions offered by our culture (on TV, the internet, movies, fashion, etc) and are passionate about creating and living fulfilling lives, for themselves and for all living beings.  We’re out there…come talk to us!