So, anyhow, her eZine was titled “I’m Sick of This”…of course that caught my attention. The irritant was the countless ways our culture bombards women (and men..and young women and young men) with messages about how embarrassed we should be when we bleed during our monthly menses cycles. And, how we, as women (and men and young women and young men) have agreed to believe in these messages as ‘truth’ and live our lives constantly trying to deny or hide that we menstruate.
A few years ago, I became passionate about researching the many ways that our cultural messages (primarily handed down to us through the media in our advertising and entertainment) narrowly define what it means to be female and how our culture through these mediums dictates how we should look, dress, and behave. And quite frankly, I’m sick of it too. It’s time someone pointed to the incredibly large elephant that has been squatting in the middle of our lives and call it what it is…a big, fat lie!
Some say “We’ve come a long way baby” when we speak about Women’s Rights. Really? Let’s take a look shall we?
Before the Patriarchal System bulldozed its way into our lives and changed the way humans perceived and respected the world around us, the general consensus was that the Divine was primarily made of feminine energy and was defined as the Goddess. Many saw the earth as the ultimate Mother God{dess} who created all living things, women and men alike. Humans observed how all forms of nature were manifested through the good Mother Earth and believed that Woman was the physical manifestation of this Divine energy because all humans were born of Her.
A woman’s menstrual cycle was considered sacred. Her capacity to bleed and yet continue to live was seen nothing short of miraculous. And her ability to birth humans was a mystery only understood by Women. The power of creation was Hers and Women accepted it responsibly, recognizing that this power was not ‘power over’ but the responsibility for nurturing all vulnerable creatures and teaching them how to ultimately take care of themselves and each other.
Ancient people believed that the fetus was fully and soley formed from the mother's womb blood. This was, of course, before we learned about the male contribution to creating life…which is an integral contribution…but not a good enough reason to turn the tables completely around and brain-wash people into believing that all life comes from a male God who created one divine son by raping a woman…and then legitimizing it by calling it a ‘virgin birth’. Sounds a lot like the tales of Zeus, yes? Well, there’s nothing new in the Christian creation myth…but I digress…and will save that for another time.
Medieval peasants believed that menstrual blood had the power to heal, nourish and fertilize and that a menstruating women could protect a crop by walking around a field or exposing her genitals to it. Okay, although that might be a lot of fun, and even a bit naughty, I don’t think exposure of your Yoni is enough to guarantee a bumper crop! BUT, who knows…if you decide to try this, let me know how it worked out for you! What I do know is that when you spread menstrual blood onto the soil of any house plant, it provides incredible nourishment to the soil and that plant thrives like you could never imagine!
The sacredness and naturalness of a woman’s cycle was so deeply engrained in the psyches of our ancestors that they created a Lunar Calendar as the globally accepted way to mark the passing of time. Sacred rites surrounding the time of menses were a regular community occurrence – these rites not only taught younger women about what to expect when they reached the age of puberty but also reinforced the belief that their cycles and their capacity to create life were of divine origin.
When patriarchal societies dismantled, through brute force, matrilinear societies that embodied peaceful partnership, these sacred rituals and the beliefs they perpetrated and supported were replaced by ideas of hierarchy, where women, children and nature were demoted to the bottom of the scale of importance. Anything natural and connected to women was deemed dirty and base – “a projection of partriarchal fear of the power of women's blood. For example, the Laws of Manu stated that if a man approached a menstruating woman, he would lose his wisdom, energy, sight, strength and vitality”. (See “The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets” by Barbara Walker)
The Talmud states that if a menstruating woman walks between two men, one of the men will surely die. Wow, you’d think we’d notice if men were dropping left, right and centre world-wide as they most assuredly would if this were true…since 52% of the world’s population is female and I would assume a large portion of that percentage is of menstruating age.
The current day Catholic church still claims that women cannot be priests as a menstruating priestess would pollute the altar. And yet, in the Catholic service, the holy blood of life, which used to be feminine and real is now masculine and symbolic. (Ibid, Barbara Walker) You should have heard the lame excuses I was given by our Catholic priest when, as a 12-year old girl, I asked if I could volunteer as an ‘altar person’…I never understood…well, now I understand…we couldn’t risk polluting that altar space with my natural presence.
Karen Houppert, author of “The Curse: Confronting The Last Unmentionable Taboo – Menstruation”, refers to our societal aversion to one of the most natural processes on the planet as a ‘culture of concealment’. She tell us that “young girls are given the message very early in life that “I-bleed-therefore-I’m-yucky”. Is it any wonder when this very natural and sacred process is referred to in a number of demeaning ways? Perhaps you remember hearing some of these gems while you were growing up:
The Curse, The Nuisance, The Plague, The Flowers, Poorly Time, Monthly Evacuations, The Visitations, Being Unwell (1800's), Monthly Turns, Monthly Return, Monthly Troubles, That Time of the Month, Wrong Time of the Month, Monthlies, Calendar Days, Problem Days, Poorlies, Period, The Moon, Those Days, Old Faithful, Sick Time, Indisposed, The Misery, Les Regles, PMS, Cramps, Under the Weather, Weeping Womb, Package of Troubles, Jam and Bread, On the Rag, Too Wet to Plow, A Snatch Box Decorated with Red Roses (WW2); Can't Go Swimming, Tide's In, Tide's Out, Flying Baker (Navy signal meaning 'Keep Off'); Riding the Red Tide, The Red Flag is Up, Red Light, Red Letter Day, My Redheaded Friend, Cherry in Sherry, The Red King, Traveling the Red Road, The Red Tea's Out, The Reds are In, Are You Seeing Red?, Bloody Mary, The Chick is a Communist (1040's Jive-Talk); White Cylinder Week, Mother Nature's Gift, Woman's Friend, It's Raining Down South, I Fell off The Roof, I've Got My Flowers, I've Got the Grannies, Lady in the Red Dress, Grandma's Here, Somebody's Visiting, Tante Rosa Kommt Aus Amerika (Aunt Rosa is coming from America - German), My Redheaded Aunt From Red Bank, And Red From Potsdam's Here, Communists in the Summer House - Norwegian, Aunt Susie, Aunt Flo Is Visiting, Aunt Tilly is Here. (“Ibid”, Karen Houppert)
In speaking about the feminine products industry, Houppert explains that “marketing in this industry plays on women’s insecurities and shame surrounding menses. Advertisements maximize these fears and secrecy permeates every level of the industry.” She tells of a number of attempts over hundreds (in fact thousands) of years to brainwash women and men about the ‘curse’ and the need to deny it even exists. Check these out (all of the bulleted points below are borrowed from “The Curse: Confronting The Last Unmentionable Taboo – Menstruation” ):
· In 1878…the British Medical Journal published a discussion about whether menstruating women spoiled meat when they touched it.
· In 1883, Henry Maudsley, writing in…’Sex in Mind and Education’…observed that girls were doomed to failure in college because of menstruation.
· A 1949 Good Housekeeping advertisement states "You won't know you're wearing [a tampon] - and neither does anyone else."
· The ‘educational’ film Molly Grows Up, produced in 1953 and distributed to American schools nationwide, advises young girls to be “more careful than ever about personal cleanliness and daintiness”. It further advises them to “be sure and use a deodorant”.
· In 1963, inside a tampon box: "Don't take advantage of your husband. That's an old rule of good marriage behaviour that's just as sensible now as it ever was. Of course, you'll not try to take advantage, but sometimes ways of taking advantage aren't obvious. You wouldn't connect it with menstruation, for instance. Yet, if you neglect the simple rules that make menstruation a normal time of the month, and retire for a few days each month, as though you were ill, you're taking advantage of your husband's good nature. He married a full-time wife, not a part-time one. So you should be active, peppy, and cheerful every day."
· Tampon advertising tells girls that if they wear a pad, they’ll be 'noticed'. The corresponding pictures of girls flirting with boys suggests that if boys know you are having your period, you won’t get a date.
· In 1995, Karen Houppert wrote an article for The Village Voice, based on her research into the marketing and media of menses. The cover page photo was a profile of a woman's body, not unlike any other picture you would see in a thousand other glamour magazines; however, this one included a tampon string between the legs. This picture created a terrific stir and offended many. How is this more offensive than pictures of victims of war and brutality that are displayed on the front pages of more magazines than we can count and that are presented to us on the nightly news?
Dr. Christiane Northrop tells us that “in Native cultures around the world, young women were honoured with 'coming-of-age' ceremonies where 1st menstruation meant being initiated into the offices of womanhood.” (“Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”) How did such a paradigm shift take place?
Perhaps more importantly is the question ‘why’? Quite frankly, because the best way to control someone is to make them feel fear and shame…period (pun intended). So why would anyone want to control women? Because women, when they are supported by other wise and compassionate women and men, have the capacity to empathize and nurture and would NEVER allow the atrocities of war, genocide and global poverty to take place…all of which are means of acquiring and protecting wealth by the few for the few.
Sound like an extreme statement? Perhaps…but aren’t war, genocide and global poverty extreme situations? So really, let’s call it what it is, turn away from the lies that surround us, move within for guidance and support each other (rather than fight against each other) in creating a world that honours compassion, partnership and health and well-being for ALL THAT IS…not just the small few who can afford it…at the expense of everyone else.
Does this sound like too big a task? Perhaps, especially if you see it as something you have to do alone…but you don’t. It starts with surrounding yourself with other people who share the same desire for a better world. And for women, it’s primarily about surrounding yourself with wise and empowered women who are no longer interested in the stupidity of the distractions offered by our culture (on TV, the internet, movies, fashion, etc) and are passionate about creating and living fulfilling lives, for themselves and for all living beings. We’re out there…come talk to us!