Michele Barnes
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Moronic Myths About Menses

11/22/2011

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The other day I received an eZine from my friend Rebecca Liston.  If you don’t know her, you need to get to know her…you can check her out at www.rebeccaliston.com

So, anyhow, her eZine was titled “I’m Sick of This”…of course that caught my attention.  The irritant was the countless ways our culture bombards women (and men..and young women and young men) with messages about how embarrassed we should be when we bleed during our monthly menses cycles.  And, how we, as women (and men and young women and young men) have agreed to believe in these messages as ‘truth’ and live our lives constantly trying to deny or hide that we menstruate.

A few years ago, I became passionate about researching the many ways that our cultural messages (primarily handed down to us through the media in our advertising and entertainment) narrowly define what it means to be female and how our culture through these mediums dictates how we should look, dress, and behave.  And quite frankly, I’m sick of it too.  It’s time someone pointed to the incredibly large elephant that has been squatting in the middle of our lives and call it what it is…a big, fat lie!

Some say “We’ve come a long way baby” when we speak about Women’s Rights.  Really?  Let’s take a look shall we? 

Before the Patriarchal System bulldozed its way into our lives and changed the way humans perceived and respected the world around us, the general consensus was that the Divine was primarily made of feminine energy and was defined as the Goddess.  Many saw the earth as the ultimate Mother God{dess} who created all living things, women and men alike.  Humans observed how all forms of nature were manifested through the good Mother Earth and believed that Woman was the physical manifestation of this Divine energy because all humans were born of Her. 

A woman’s menstrual cycle was considered sacred.  Her capacity to bleed and yet continue to live was seen nothing short of miraculous.  And her ability to birth humans was a mystery only understood by Women.  The power of creation was Hers and Women accepted it responsibly, recognizing that this power was not ‘power over’ but the responsibility for nurturing all vulnerable creatures and teaching them how to ultimately take care of themselves and each other.

Ancient people believed that the fetus was fully and soley formed from the mother's womb blood.  This was, of course, before we learned about the male contribution to creating life…which is an integral contribution…but not a good enough reason to turn the tables completely around and brain-wash people into believing that all life comes from a male God who created one divine son by raping a woman…and then legitimizing it by calling it a ‘virgin birth’.  Sounds a lot like the tales of Zeus, yes?  Well, there’s nothing new in the Christian creation myth…but I digress…and will save that for another time.

Medieval peasants believed that menstrual blood had the power to heal, nourish and fertilize and that a menstruating women could protect a crop by walking around a field or exposing her genitals to it.  Okay, although that might be a lot of fun, and even a bit naughty, I don’t think exposure of your Yoni is enough to guarantee a bumper crop!  BUT, who knows…if you decide to try this, let me know how it worked out for you!  What I do know is that when you spread menstrual blood onto the soil of any house plant, it provides incredible nourishment to the soil and that plant thrives like you could never imagine!

The sacredness and naturalness of a woman’s cycle was so deeply engrained in the psyches of our ancestors that they created a Lunar Calendar as the globally accepted way to mark the passing of time.  Sacred rites surrounding the time of menses were a regular community occurrence – these rites not only taught younger women about what to expect when they reached the age of puberty but also reinforced the belief that their cycles and their capacity to create life were of divine origin.

When patriarchal societies dismantled, through brute force, matrilinear societies that embodied peaceful partnership, these sacred rituals and the beliefs they perpetrated and supported were replaced by ideas of hierarchy, where women, children and nature were demoted to the bottom of the scale of importance.  Anything natural and connected to women was deemed dirty and base – “a projection of partriarchal fear of the power of women's blood.  For example, the Laws of Manu stated that if a man approached a menstruating woman, he would lose his wisdom, energy, sight, strength and vitality”. (See “The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets” by Barbara Walker)

The Talmud states that if a menstruating woman walks between two men, one of the men will surely die.  Wow, you’d think we’d notice if men were dropping left, right and centre world-wide as they most assuredly would if this were true…since  52% of the world’s population is female and I would assume a large portion of that percentage is of menstruating age.

The current day Catholic church still claims that women cannot be priests as a menstruating priestess would pollute the altar.  And yet, in the Catholic service, the holy blood of life, which used to be feminine and real is now masculine and symbolic. (Ibid, Barbara Walker)  You should have heard the lame excuses I was given by our Catholic priest when, as a 12-year old girl, I asked if I could volunteer as an ‘altar person’…I never understood…well, now I understand…we couldn’t risk polluting that altar space with my natural presence.

Karen Houppert, author of “The Curse: Confronting The Last Unmentionable Taboo – Menstruation”, refers to our societal aversion to one of the most natural processes on the planet as a ‘culture of concealment’.  She tell us that “young girls are given the message very early in life that “I-bleed-therefore-I’m-yucky”.  Is it any wonder when this very natural and sacred process is referred to in a number of demeaning ways?  Perhaps you remember hearing some of these gems while you were growing up:

The Curse, The Nuisance, The Plague, The Flowers, Poorly Time, Monthly Evacuations, The Visitations, Being Unwell (1800's), Monthly Turns, Monthly Return, Monthly Troubles, That Time of the Month, Wrong Time of the Month, Monthlies, Calendar Days, Problem Days, Poorlies, Period, The Moon, Those Days, Old Faithful, Sick Time, Indisposed, The Misery, Les Regles, PMS, Cramps, Under the Weather, Weeping Womb, Package of Troubles, Jam and Bread, On the Rag, Too Wet to Plow, A Snatch Box Decorated with Red Roses (WW2); Can't Go Swimming, Tide's In, Tide's Out, Flying Baker (Navy signal meaning 'Keep Off'); Riding the Red Tide, The Red Flag is Up, Red Light, Red Letter Day, My Redheaded Friend, Cherry in Sherry, The Red King, Traveling the Red Road, The Red Tea's Out, The Reds are In, Are You Seeing Red?, Bloody Mary, The Chick is a Communist (1040's Jive-Talk); White Cylinder Week, Mother Nature's Gift, Woman's Friend, It's Raining Down South, I Fell off The Roof, I've Got My Flowers, I've Got the Grannies, Lady in the Red Dress, Grandma's Here, Somebody's Visiting, Tante Rosa Kommt Aus Amerika (Aunt Rosa is coming from America - German), My Redheaded Aunt From Red Bank, And Red From Potsdam's Here, Communists in the Summer House - Norwegian, Aunt Susie, Aunt Flo Is Visiting, Aunt Tilly is Here.  (“Ibid”, Karen Houppert)

In speaking about the feminine products industry, Houppert explains that “marketing in this industry plays on women’s insecurities and shame surrounding menses.  Advertisements maximize these fears and secrecy permeates every level of the industry.”  She tells of a number of attempts over hundreds (in fact thousands) of years to brainwash women and men about the ‘curse’ and the need to deny it even exists.  Check these out (all of the bulleted points below are borrowed from “The Curse: Confronting The Last Unmentionable Taboo – Menstruation” ):

·         In 1878…the British Medical Journal published a discussion about whether menstruating women spoiled meat when they touched it.

·         In 1883, Henry Maudsley, writing in…’Sex in Mind and Education’…observed that girls were doomed to failure in college because of menstruation.

·         A 1949 Good Housekeeping advertisement states "You won't know you're wearing [a tampon] - and neither does anyone else." 

·         The ‘educational’ film Molly Grows Up, produced in 1953 and distributed to American schools nationwide, advises young girls to be “more careful than ever about personal cleanliness and daintiness”.  It further advises them to “be sure and use a deodorant”.

·         In 1963, inside a tampon box:  "Don't take advantage of your husband.  That's an old rule of good marriage behaviour that's just as sensible now as it ever was.  Of course, you'll not try to take advantage, but sometimes ways of taking advantage aren't obvious.  You wouldn't connect it with menstruation, for instance.  Yet, if you neglect the simple rules that make menstruation a normal time of the month, and retire for a few days each month, as though you were ill, you're taking advantage of your husband's good nature.  He married a full-time wife, not a part-time one.  So you should be active, peppy, and cheerful every day."

·         Tampon advertising tells girls that if they wear a pad, they’ll be 'noticed'.  The corresponding pictures of girls flirting with boys suggests that if boys know you are having your period, you won’t get a date.

·         In 1995, Karen Houppert wrote an article for The Village Voice, based on her research into the marketing and media of menses.  The cover page photo was a profile of a woman's body, not unlike any other picture you would see in a thousand other glamour magazines; however, this one included a tampon string between the legs.  This picture created a terrific stir and offended many.  How is this more offensive than pictures of victims of war and brutality that are displayed on the front pages of more magazines than we can count and that are presented to us on the nightly news?

Dr. Christiane Northrop tells us that “in Native cultures around the world, young women were honoured with 'coming-of-age' ceremonies where 1st menstruation meant being initiated into the offices of womanhood.” (“Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”)  How did such a paradigm shift take place? 

Perhaps more importantly is the question ‘why’?  Quite frankly, because the best way to control someone is to make them feel fear and shame…period (pun intended).  So why would anyone want to control women?  Because women, when they are supported by other wise and compassionate women and men, have the capacity to empathize and nurture and would NEVER allow the atrocities of war, genocide and global poverty to take place…all of which are means of acquiring and protecting wealth by the few for the few.

Sound like an extreme statement?  Perhaps…but aren’t war, genocide and global poverty extreme situations?  So really, let’s call it what it is, turn away from the lies that surround us, move within for guidance and support each other (rather than fight against each other) in creating a world that honours compassion, partnership and health and well-being for ALL THAT IS…not just the small few who can afford it…at the expense of everyone else. 

Does this sound like too big a task?  Perhaps, especially if you see it as something you have to do alone…but you don’t.  It starts with surrounding yourself with other people who share the same desire for a better world.  And for women, it’s primarily about surrounding yourself with wise and empowered women who are no longer interested in the stupidity of the distractions offered by our culture (on TV, the internet, movies, fashion, etc) and are passionate about creating and living fulfilling lives, for themselves and for all living beings.  We’re out there…come talk to us!
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"Good Grief - The Benefits of Release"

11/14/2011

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Here I go again.  My gut is telling me that I'm being asked to dip down into my seemingly bottomless well of grief for more processing and release.  Intellectually, I'm not surprised.  I only started taking tiny dips into that well a few years ago and we're talking about a lifetime of grief that hasn't been acknowledged, let alone experienced.  But I guess I was kidding myself into thinking that the work I've done thus far has been enough for a few years...apparently that's not the case.
My adult self keeps trying to tell my child self that we don't have to grieve over a broken heart any more...that we dodged a bullet back when we were 15 years old and planning a lifetime with my significant other at that time and that the lovely man that we're sharing our life with now was so totally worth all of the challenging experiences that led up to now.  But that child doesn't believe the adult.  And I'm thinking the child knows better, at some level...that there's still alot of exploration left to do and the time is ripe for the next journey into that underworld. 

I'm planning to marry my current partner and soul mate.  In preparation for that commitment, a few transitions need to take place...like the sale of my country sanctuary and letting go of my previous role as a yoga teacher.  When I started to deliberate how yoga, which has been a central and pivotal part of my healing journey, is about to take a back seat in my life, I started to experience arm pain.  When I put my house of the market, the pain continued and has quite a grip on my upper back and neck.  In a recent spiritual counselling session, I was guided to let go of the past and the need to be loved as a 'yoga teacher' and to embrace my new role as an empowerment coach and public speaker and eco-activist.  I guess that's three roles in one.  Anyhow, in the last week, I've also heard about two different people suffering from heart failure...one of which has ended in an untimely death.  Today, I met with a soul sister to catch up on our lives and we ended up talking about how we are both feeling the grief of the good Mother Earth and her inhabitants...all living things, not just people.  That might sound far-fetched to you but it is how I've felt over the past couple of years.  We talked about how up until now I've felt a fair amount of resentment about feeling the unresolved grief of my mother whose mother died when she was 1 and her father when she was 5 years old.  I had an 'ah-ha' moment when I realized that my capacity to feel her grief has prepared me for being able to empathize with the global populace and the planet itself.

One might suggest that this ability is debilitating; however, I think that more and more people need to arrive at a similar place and capacity because it our collective inability and/or unwillingness to acknowledge and feel our own grief stops us from being able to recognize it in others....and this has us denying that anything is amiss in the world or prevents us from acknowledging the horrors of the world and, instead, turning a blind eye to them.  It takes a lot of courage to be able to pull the curtain back and see the man hiding behind it.  Once we are no longer blind to the things that are going down in the world...that we really should be outraged about, we stand the risk of being lost in that darkness.  However, I also recognize that the years of self-healing and awareness work that I've undergone (and continue to explore) and that many others are also engaging in has created someone in me who is willing to take that dip in the well, fully knowing that there's a rope being held by a steady hand to pull me back out again.

So, here I go...wish me luck!  And don't worry, I'm taking a super-duper light with me so I can see where I'm going.
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The Lies We're Told

11/10/2011

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Perhaps it's because I'm getting older.  Perhaps it's because I'm becoming less tolerant.  Or, perhaps it's because my eyes and heart have been opening wider and wider and I've become more discerning.  Whatever it is, I'm no longer willing to accept the messages that are fed to women, men, and children about what it means to be a woman in the culture we live in.  Whenever I sit in front of the T.V., (yep, I still love to turn my brain off every now and then) there are countless advertisements telling me what a "beautiful" woman is supposed to look like, what age women are supposed to allow themselves to look like, what women are supposed to desire and that women are ultimately objects of someone else's desires.  Ever since I was a young girl, I questioned why boys/men were allowed certain privileges in our culture that were not available to girls/women.  I can distinctly remember how uncomfortable our Catholic parish priest was when I asked him why young girls were not allowed to participate in the mass as 'altar girls' and that he could not come up with a good answer.  As I became a young woman, I began to question the roles that my parents agreed to play in their marriage...my father as the financial provider who was not required to help out at home and my mother as the home-maker whose efforts were rarely acknowledged nor appreciated.  Whenever I flipped through magazines, I was constantly reminded how inadequate I was as a female.  My hair wasn't thick or glossy enough.  I didn't wear the right make-up.  I didn't have the right clothes.  I spent countless years trying to be the type of woman that was modeled for me without realizing that even that woman didn't really exist.  No wonder I ended up feeling angry, sad and depressed.  No wonder I closed myself off to the world.  It wasn't until I discovered yoga and meditation that I started to consider the possibility that who I was might just be good enough, without all of those additional distractions.  Over the past 15 years, I've been exploring therapy and self-actualization processes that have helped me to recognize my unique gifts and personal power...as a woman.  And I love that I'm getting older because I'm reaching a point where I'm no longer interested in apologizing for being female nor for offering the gifts of the Divine Feminine to the world.  If you've had enough of sitting at the bottom of the hierarchy, join me in creating another way of seeing and being in the world and in manifesting a world that does not recognize hierarchies or control over others.  It starts with acknowledging all the aspects of yourself - physically, emotionally and mentally - and accepting them for what they are...as gifts.  Blessed Be.  
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First Post!

11/3/2011

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Start blogging by creating a new post. You can edit or delete me by clicking under the comments. You can also customize your sidebar by dragging in elements from the top bar.
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    Michele is passionate about supporting women in their journey to self-empowerment

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